Can I buy you a virtual drink?

Social networking has truly revolutionized the way that communication, business and relationships function to the point that if you don’t have an internet presence either through facebook, twitter, linked in, myspace, personal blog, website, how can anyone get to know you?

One thing that I’ve been thinking about a lot lately is how much things have changed and how much they’re still the same. Let me explain…

Social networking is (or should be) just that, networking socially.  Yet everyday I come across examples of well meaning individuals, who in their zeal to take advantage of the latest technology and be the next “Twitterlebrity”,  forget that all their other fellow twitterers are humans too and not just “twitbots”. With such power at the tips of our fingers to connect so rapidly and widely with others in getting out our messages or “tweets”, we must keep in mind that social networking, if misused, can totally backfire.

Let me give an example…

Say for instance a decent looking guy walks into a bar and sees a woman who he finds extremely attractive. He thinks to himself that he would love to get things moving quickly so as to get as physically “close” to her as possible…so he struts over to her and asks her if he can buy her a drink. Flattered, she accepts. Before the bartender can even bring over her drink to her, the next words out of this potential suitor’s mouth are: “I’m staying in room 322 and have an extra room key. Meet me there in 10 min.” How likely do you think it will be that this woman he’s highly interested in getting physically close to and “know” in the biblical sense will accept his offer???..not very likely..maybe one in million if he’s lucky! Things just don’t work like that in building relationships face to face. Eventually… there may be a time and a place to invite her to join him in his room, but certainly not at the very first introduction, unless she gets paid by the hour…but that’s a whole different story all together. This guy definitely needs a few lessons in social skills if he ever has any hopes of getting anything but slapped!

Let’s take this same example and apply it to the virtual world… Obviously virtual places like facebook, twitter, myspace etc are the new “meet and greet”, but there are common principles that still apply when getting to know new people in a virtual setting..whatever your end goal may be, “biblical” knowing or otherwise. Social networking should be just that..social, but sometimes its anything BUT! It’s often unfortunately very anti-social! The equivalent of a face slap when immediately extending an anti-social forward invite to your ultimate motivation or destination (link), is to be virtually blocked or removed as a friend.

If you do happen to be on the receiving end of these unfortunate virtual anti-social invites for a “drink”, before slapping..I mean deleting them from your friend’s list, do take it as teaching opportunity. Politely explain to them that if they would have truly taken the time to get to know you first and for you to know them, that you would have most likely eventually clicked on their link either on their blog or facebook profile etc in the natural process of wanting to know more about them..but since they displayed such anti-social netiquette by thrusting their link to their business in your face right of the bat, you are deleting them. Perhaps they’ll take the hint if they’re wise and learn from it…or maybe they won’t and will just have to suffer the consequences of a lost opportunity.

If you are guilty of making these unwelcomed forward advances before getting to truly know someone, I encourage you to remember that people are still people whether you meet them in a bar or on twitter or wherever your virtual place of choice is, and want to be treated as such.

One of my all time favorite quotes is by my dear friend, co-author of “The Go-Giver”, professional speaker and mentor Bob Burg. He states that, “All things being equal, people will do business with and refer business to those people they know, like and trust.”

Use the power of these new virtual “meet and greets” to do just that, get to know people first and allow them to naturally get to know you. Hopefully after this “courtship” has taken place, they will have come to know, like and trust you through you just being yourself. People are still people and this process takes time, plain and simple. Then and only then can you take your “relationship” to the next level.

If you’d like to get to know me better, please stop by and say hi.

I’d love to get to know you!

 

 

 

 

Amy

Facebook: http://profile.to/amyestroud

Twitter: http://twitter.com/amyestroud